The Theory of Randomness

As a reasonably well-read person, I realize that one's first blog entry should technically attempt to encompass everything and yet say virtually nothing, as to not be too specific about anything. It should also aspire to make sense. And fail miserably, because, suffocated by years of vanity-induced silence, an author is doomed to rant aimlessly about every topic imaginable in hopes of expressing the maximum amount of thoughts and evoke the maximum amount of emotions in the reader. I'll try to cut to the chase without introducing every single one of my dysfunctions right off the bat and try instead to let them unravel sporadically throughout the entries I will be posting. The theory of randomness refers to this exact intention: to say things explicitly and chaotically as they come to me without order or deliberation. This blog will not be a shrine to my ego. It will be a place to honestly verbalize ideas about anything, everything, and nothing at all. Nothing is off-limits. Nothing is taboo. And nothing is too random for this author. Pink elephants, evil cupcakes, zombie holocausts, sketchy televangelists, and anal beads...here we go ;).